What to expect when divorcing a narcissist
Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC • October 18, 2023
A close up of a pixel art drawing of a mountain.

It’s hard to tell when you’ve encountered a narcissist – unless maybe you’re married to one.

It’s estimated that up to 5% of the U.S. population has a narcissistic personality disorder, and many of them don’t show their true colors to their spouses until after their unhappily wed. If you’ve had enough and want out of your marriage, however, it pays to understand what you can expect.

Narcissists don’t like to let go

The first and most important recommendation for parents is to put their children first. When the parents focus on the children and regularly remind themselves that they are doing this for them, it is easier to cope with the difficulties that may naturally pop up between the parents.

Communication

One of the most important things to understand about a narcissist is that, underneath all of their bluster and grandiosity, they actually have a very fragile ego. They struggle to connect with other people on a true emotional level, and they desperately need external validation.

When you seek a divorce, it will disrupt the illusion they try to create for themselves, so they may do just about anything to regain their balance. You can expect:

  • High-conflict proceedings: Some narcissists thrive on conflict, and they don’t mind using prolonged, contentious legal battles to maintain control or seek revenge. Be prepared for disputes over assets, child custody and even trivial issues.
  • Manipulation and gaslighting: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating and distorting reality to make themselves look like victims. They can’t conceive of a divorce where nobody is the “bad guy,” so expect to be portrayed in the worst possible light to everybody they know. Outright lying isn’t beyond the possibilities.
  • Emotional abuse: Expect emotional abuse to intensify during the divorce process. They may belittle, threaten and demean you, possibly just to hurt you.
  • Boundary violations: You have to set boundaries early in a divorce, but expect a narcissistic spouse to immediately try to trample all over them. It can help to route all your communications through formal channels.

Because it can be so difficult to go through a divorce with a narcissist, it’s wise to get your plans together before you make your intentions known. That means things like making copies of all your financial paperwork, figuring out where you intend to live and getting a good support system, including legal guidance, in place.

Reach Out To An Experienced Lawyer

By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC May 1, 2024
Factors ranging from household resources to employment arrangements can directly influence divorce proceedings. The Indiana divorce process necessitates a division of personal property and an intentional re-allocation of personal debts between the spouses. Spouses in higher-income marriages may have complex resources and assets that are not liquid, meaning they can’t divide them easily or directly.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC April 6, 2024
People often enter into marriage with optimism for the future of their relationship. Some people quickly realize that their new spouse is not the person they imagined. Other people enjoy a functional marriage for years before things start to change.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC March 8, 2024
Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be challenging, but it is essential for the well-being of your children. Successful co-parenting requires effort, patience and effective communication.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC February 19, 2024
There are often several concerns that hold people back from divorcing even when their marriages feel dissatisfying. Those with young children may worry about losing parenting time. People often feel a strong sense of obligation to work on their marriage before pursuing a divorce, especially if they belong to a traditional culture or share a faith with their spouse.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC January 23, 2024
Parents thinking about divorce in Indiana may have several concerns preventing them from filing. Some adults worry that the end of their marriage could have a negative impact on the family’s standard of living and leave them unable to provide for their children’s needs. Many others might worry that their current employment arrangements could leave them unable to spend time with their children.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC December 23, 2023
Divorce inspires the challenging task of dividing assets. Retirement accounts are often a significant focus of this process, as they’re often a significant asset.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC November 16, 2023
A marital home is often the most significant asset a couple may be compelled to manage when spouses divorce. If you are divorcing, you’ll have to consider several factors when trying to determine the best course of action for your home.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC September 15, 2023
After years of sharing everything, spouses considering divorce will need to separate their finances. If the matter goes to court, then a judge will interpret Indiana’s equitable distribution statute to decide on a fair way to split the couple’s marital assets between the two spouses.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC August 7, 2023
A lot of couples experience financial woes at some point in their marriages, and that can lead to stress and strain on the relationship. “Money issues” are the second leading cause of divorce nationwide, with only infidelity being cited more often.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC May 1, 2024
Factors ranging from household resources to employment arrangements can directly influence divorce proceedings. The Indiana divorce process necessitates a division of personal property and an intentional re-allocation of personal debts between the spouses. Spouses in higher-income marriages may have complex resources and assets that are not liquid, meaning they can’t divide them easily or directly.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC April 6, 2024
People often enter into marriage with optimism for the future of their relationship. Some people quickly realize that their new spouse is not the person they imagined. Other people enjoy a functional marriage for years before things start to change.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC March 8, 2024
Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be challenging, but it is essential for the well-being of your children. Successful co-parenting requires effort, patience and effective communication.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC February 19, 2024
There are often several concerns that hold people back from divorcing even when their marriages feel dissatisfying. Those with young children may worry about losing parenting time. People often feel a strong sense of obligation to work on their marriage before pursuing a divorce, especially if they belong to a traditional culture or share a faith with their spouse.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC January 23, 2024
Parents thinking about divorce in Indiana may have several concerns preventing them from filing. Some adults worry that the end of their marriage could have a negative impact on the family’s standard of living and leave them unable to provide for their children’s needs. Many others might worry that their current employment arrangements could leave them unable to spend time with their children.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC December 23, 2023
Divorce inspires the challenging task of dividing assets. Retirement accounts are often a significant focus of this process, as they’re often a significant asset.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC November 16, 2023
A marital home is often the most significant asset a couple may be compelled to manage when spouses divorce. If you are divorcing, you’ll have to consider several factors when trying to determine the best course of action for your home.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC September 15, 2023
After years of sharing everything, spouses considering divorce will need to separate their finances. If the matter goes to court, then a judge will interpret Indiana’s equitable distribution statute to decide on a fair way to split the couple’s marital assets between the two spouses.
By Law Office of Stacey M. Davis LLC August 7, 2023
A lot of couples experience financial woes at some point in their marriages, and that can lead to stress and strain on the relationship. “Money issues” are the second leading cause of divorce nationwide, with only infidelity being cited more often.